Eden Hill Journal

Comments, dreams, stories, and rantings from a middle-aged native of Maine living on a shoestring and a prayer in the woods of Maine. My portion of the family farm is to be known as Eden Hill Farm just because I want to call it that and because that's the closest thing to the truth that I could come up with. If you enjoy what I write, email me or make a comment. If you enjoy Eden Hill, come visit.

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Location: Maine, United States

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Massholes

I generally don't think of myself as agressive and as I age I am becoming even less so. But I generally don't think of myself as passive aggressive either, as hiding my aggression and venting it in unexpected ways. But I don't know, maybe I should reconsider. I've been spending time on America's Interstates and tollways this summer. Maybe I am inclined towards passive aggression. I'm thinking maybe I need a bumper sticker that reads "Passive Aggressive Driver, Don't cross me" on it.
Here's the reason I'm thinking this.
For some reason it is becoming much more expensive to fly into Bangor or Portland or Manchester than it is to fly into Logan in Boston. My daughter is coming home this summer and is flying into Logan for this reason. You can literally save hundreds of dollars if you are willing to drive into Boston to fly in and out of Logan.
Well I've never been to Logan and up until yesterday I had only driven in Boston twice in my life, once last year to a Red Sox game, and once many years ago at midnight just for the thrill of it. Other than that I have always used either the I-495 bypass or Route 128.
Massachusetts drivers have a reputation. The Urban Dictionary nails it head-on. We have tons of Massachusetts drivers here in Maine since Maine is for them a nearby playground and an easy escape. We know they live up to this reputation. But there's nothing like actually going down there to Boston and being absolutely surrounded by them! Well that is, there was nothing like it until recently. Now half the drivers on any Interstate in the country drive 10 to 20 miles per hour over the limit and will cut you off any chance they get and some states are even considering legislation that gives priority on the highway to the aggressive drivers.
But I digress...
So yesterday afternoon my wife and I drove into Boston and went to Logan to have a look around. As near as I can tell there are only two exits from Logan as opposed to the three ways in. We took the road in that doesn't involve toll tunnels under the city. We came in from the north on US Route 1A. But to get out, we paid $3.50 for the thrill of driving through a mile or two of tunnels until we could come out on I-93 northbound.
Imagine being under the ground in long narrow holes, merging left as lanes end, rounding curves, exiting left, exiting right, far exceeding speed limits, and surrounded by massholes.
So I'm thinking what the nation needs for self defense is some way to fight back and I'm thinking aggressive driving is the problem and not the sollution. Passive driving gets you into trouble, not out of it. So I'm thinking the solution must be passive aggressive - passive agressive driving - like "watch out you massholes, you're dealing with something different here, something unpredictable."
And I'm thinking I should post a warning on the left rear corner of my car to alert them of the danger, thus my idea for this new bumper sticker...
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
DRIVER
Don't cross me