Eden Hill Journal

Ramblings and memories of an amateur wordsmith and philosopher

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Location: Maine, United States

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Quandary

I am in a quandary. I know, you think I'm always in one and you're right. But this one is special. Well, "special..." That might not be quite the right word. Here's the problem.
My wife talked me into going to the Piscataquis County expo last night. I think that's put on by the county Chamber of Commerce but I'm not all that certain about it. Anyway, it was in the gym at Piscataquis Community High School (PCHS) in Guilford. Maine, of course. So we went in and bought our tickets, $3.00 apiece, and proceeded to check out all the displays. I was surprised that there were so few merchants there. I think at least half the displays were of regional social services. What does that tell you about the local economy? Huh? It felt like being in Washington County although I suspect even there more merchants would show up for an expo, especially during mud season when there's absolutely nothing else to do on a Friday night except get drunk.
OK, so back to my quandary. Nearly every display table had bowls of candy, free. That seems to have become the main attraction at these shows. But a secondary drawing card was free raffles. Sign up for this or that drawing to be held Monday or whenever, name, phone number, address, Social Security Number (just kidding). I wonder how many calling lists I put my number on last night not even realizing it at the time! OH NO!! Sh*t!!!
No, that's not the quandary.
So one of the merchants had a lovely new beige and brown colored plastic portable toilet all set up on display, door wide open so you could look around inside. I am not kidding! And they were having a raffle, a free drawing. Sign up here. What they were giving away was a free portable toilet rental. I asked and it was like a free weekend rental if maybe you're having a party and you don't want your guests flooding your septic system, that sort of thing. So I signed up. If I win, maybe I'll have a party up on Eden Hill and invite y'all to come some nice August day when the blueberries are ripe. You can eat fresh berries and use the porta-potty for free!
OK, so these people have wood-grained refrigerator magnets that they were giving away for free for advertising. The logo is a blue crescent moon (like so many people cut into their outhouses) with the company name, "Foss Enterprises: Clean Portable Toilets" in bold. The rest says, "Rental & Service; Great Units, Rates, and Service; 'Your Business is Our Business, So Do Your Business With Us'; (207) 643-2068; Central Maine - Generally: Somerset, Piscataquis, Franklin, & Penobscot Counties; Licensed; Allyn & Lisa Foss; Insured; 274 Rowell Mountain Road; Solon, ME 04979".
Now that's a busy refrigerator magnet especially since it's only a small rectangle a little bigger than a business card!
Here's the quandary.
I picked up one of these magnets and put it in my pocket. I want to remember who to call when I claim my prize, you know, my free weekend rental? But when I got home and found the magnet in my pocket, then I realized...
WHERE on your refrigerator do you put a refrigerator magnet that advertises, again in bold,
Clean Portable Toilets
?????

2 Comments:

Blogger Sarah Eliza said...

You could always use it as a bookmark in your Humanure book.

4:28 PM, April 01, 2006  
Blogger Bill said...

Hahaha!!! Now why hadn't I thought of that?
By the way, I don't use humanure on the blueberries. Not yet anyway. So far, they're completely natural with nothing added to the soil since, oh, maybe sometime in the 40s...
Just thought I should mention that.
Thanks for the suggestion, Sarah :)

7:25 PM, April 01, 2006  

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